Nakitt
A tale of love conquering the whole world…

Celebrating together. <3

3 years ago I would never have imagined what a whirlwind of a journey life had in store for me. I never imagined that I would fall in love and spend my life with my special someone.

Nathan and I have spent 3 years together as of May 20th 2010. On May 20th 2007 we first proclaimed our love and have been inseparable since. I found my soulmate in everything he is and shall become, I couldn’t be luckier in any way. When you find someone you know you’ll grow old with, you gain a whole new understanding to how less scary life can be with someone you love. The chances that Nathan and I ever met are slim to none, but something made me make that move that day in order for Nathan to first find me. I’m not really the kind to believe in destiny, but I truly do believe that everything happens for a reason. And this was fate through and through. We’re young, we’re more in love than ever before and life is so new and exciting. Every day is a new adventure, whether I’m beating caterpillars off Nathan’s shirt or he’s tickling me until my face turns to beetroot. 3 years ago I never knew life would be so good.

I think there is one true soul for each one of us in this World. Sometimes it takes people 40 years to find them, and other people know them their whole lives. Whoever that person is, let them know. We will all find that special someone and I am blessed to have found mine at 16. I now know I can grow up and never be alone, even when I’m scared and cry at night, there is always an arm to hold me tight and to wipe away my woes.

Nathan, you are my World to me and I will forever love you. My heart grows everyday for you and our love and I shall cherish it forever and ever. You are my perfect prince, my angel and my “fuzzy lumpkin” and you always shall be. I am eternally proud to be by your side and shall always be right here for you too. You’re the best and I’ll always be here to remind you just how much you mean to one little heart. I love you my darling.

Here are some images I took a long time ago of a place we’ll be calling “home” very soon. A town of long twilight hours, rolling waves and endless gardens to explore with hot air balloon rides and squirrels which came to sit on Nathan’s lap. It’s a bustling town. These shots were my first visit to Bournemouth, we ran around as the sun disappeared on the horizon and I took photos of everything. I got so excited being able to see the Isle of Wight so close by where I spent a lot of my childhood holidays on that beloved island before it was ever famous for its music festival. May spend a few days visiting that island again seeing as we’ll be so close now. I will commute between London and Bournemouth for my photographic work and bring some models to the beach with me now I have that at my disposal! Life will be a happy blur of ice creams at midnight on the pier and roller blading down the promenade. I can’t wait.

Ever since I can remember, I have had an incredible fascination with the power of photography. When I was 6, I was playing in a hotel’s kids area and had my chunky red camera around my neck. These two big boys came over to me and started to call me names and say my camera was fake. I was too scared to do anything, but I managed to take their photo setting the flash off and then running away. I still have that photo somewhere. That photo was a brave move on my behalf and I remember it like yesterday. And ever since, I have wanted to prove people wrong.

I am entered in Artists Wanted which is a programme to help discover new photographers out there. A lot of famous people have entered and I can’t help but think it’s out of greed and that makes me very sad. If you’re already famous and jet-setting, you don’t need to be discovered. But hey-ho. I can still try and face the big kids here too and run away feeling proud of myself. To win this competition would be life changing and I wouldn’t take a second for granted. This would be a dream coming true, it would be me proving to the World that I am made of something. I can do it, only if people give me the chance to.

So please, vote for me. All you have to do is click the 5 star button once every 24 hours and that is a vote on my ticket to discovery. Please help a girl’s dream come true and I promise that when you need me, I will be there to do exactly the same for you. [:

Things are good, they’re turning and I think new beginnings are hard but possible with a smile.

This weekend was the ultimate turning point. It still doesn’t stop the sadness as I wave goodbye to Nathan at the station, but it’s made a lot better. We spoke about the important things we’ve been needing to talk about. I hit rock bottom last week. I have never felt so low and worthless in my life and I was very scared. I guess a lot caved in on my mind and now I know how to be stronger. I told Nathan what I needed to, all the feelings I’d felt when I felt like nothing was out there for me any more. And he told me everything he felt. We came away with a fresh understanding of one another. A little bit of communication goes a long way. I’d been so afraid of burdening him with my feelings, I’d bottled a lot up and finally let it all go. It felt good. And it felt better to have him talk about his feelings too in such depth that we just hadn’t had the chance to do yet. He nicknamed himself “The Heartcatcher” and how he’d always catch my falling heart. We then agreed we’d make a children’s book about catching hearts. He’d write, I’d draw. So look out for that one day!

We played a lot of tennis today. It was hot and sunny, but glorious to lark about and feel life again. We then roller bladed around the tennis court holding hands. It was heaps of fun. My Grandparents wanted to have a long chat with us, it was wonderful. My Granny wouldn’t stop smiling at me, it made me feel fuzzy knowing that she was so thankful to me. She needs things to look forward to and work towards. Today she sat there and knitted. It’s her new project to keep her looking forward to the future. She’s knitting a baby shawl for when we have kids. I felt highly embarrassed but couldn’t help but smile. My Grandpa was loving as always and he and Nathan always get chatting and block everything else out. Must be a man-thing!

We were driving home when Nathan pointed out some red petals on the pavement and said how he wished we were in them and he’d throw them up and kiss me. I kept driving and went around the block before parking up and getting out much to Nathan’s amusement. We ran as hard as we could to the red petals and threw them high in the air, screaming and laughing. It was a memory which will last me a lifetime. I’ll never forget all that happiness we felt. I’ll never forget the feeling of Nathan’s hand guiding mine back to the car as we ran down the street with loud feet and lungs.

I’m writing a book. Every day if I have a funny thought about life, I write it down. Nothing negative and bad. And when I get old, my grandchildren will look through it and learn about Granny’s youth. I hope to inspire young people with it when I’m old. It’ll be something I can be remembered by. I’ll be the quiet but quirky kid turned old and never forgotten. It’ll be great.

Things will be better from here on in. We’re booking in an appointment for a flat viewing that we’ll hopefully move into. It has 2 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, a huge rooftop patio all for ourselves. Plus we’re hoping to get a little puppy. We’ve picked the breed and when the time is right, we’ll be buying a little friend for us. You’ll all have to come and visit, we’ll have drinks on the patio and I’ll cook up a storm. Deal?! [:

I know it’s probably all been a huge mistake to pour my heart out on the Internet. People develop strong opinions about you and your life when they really know nothing about you. But I don’t really care if people develop horrible opinions about me. I’m just trying to be insightful to those of you who do care and who are interested. Thank you for all your encouragement and prayers, they’ve all helped tremendously.

Tonight I shoot at a nightclub which’ll be fun but tiring work. I won’t be home until the early hours and I then have to be up again a few hours later to grab a tube into London to get a coach to Bournemouth. Because I can’t afford the £50 return train ticket, spending £8 on a coach seems the best way to go about it. Nathan will be at work in Poole which is the next door town and won’t be back until the evening. So I get to spend the day browsing the shops and seeing what it’s all about. I’m so excited. This will be our new home so soon and these past few days apart have been harder than last week. I can’t wait to be with my angel again. I need to get used to this and hang in for a little while more. I’m doing okay.

I took my first ECDL exam yesterday. I have to study 7 modules in 3 months or else I lose everything and am not allowed to continue! So getting one module done felt amazing. Though I was annoyed I got one question wrong so I only got 97%. Stupid, stupid, stupid mistake! 6 more modules to learn. I’m not even halfway through databases and I am finding them so hard to understand. My mind doesn’t work in logical ways.

On the other hand, I’ve been seriously busy with photo shoots. I did a shoot last Wednesday with some amazing girls in a plantation. They were for 2 magazines, so fingers crossed I did a good enough job. Then on Saturday I had a shoot for a book and exhibition a girl was putting together. It was so sunny and I’d managed to secure an amazing model from Europe’s largest agency. Boo-yah! And there everyone was saying I couldn’t do it.

I went out for tea with my Grandpa yesterday which was so, so lovely. He always cheers me up. He celebrated his 59th wedding anniversary with my Granny on Monday. That’s a lot of years! They’re the funniest couple, but I love them so much. I can’t think of life without them, they’ve always been my 2nd parents, the ones to hug me and encourage me through life. Anyway, my Grandpa told me all about how the Queen once dropped her ring at his feet and he picked it up for her and they laughed about it together. He always amazes me with his history. There’s so much I still have to learn about him and I fear my time is growing thin. I hope he’s around for many, many more years.

That’s life right now. So busy, but busy is good. It preoccupies the disturbed mind. Sorry for all the negativity lately for those of you who read this far! I promise to be more upbeat and blog more happy things from here on in. [: