Nakitt
A tale of love conquering the whole world…

Celebrating together. <3

3 years ago I would never have imagined what a whirlwind of a journey life had in store for me. I never imagined that I would fall in love and spend my life with my special someone.

Nathan and I have spent 3 years together as of May 20th 2010. On May 20th 2007 we first proclaimed our love and have been inseparable since. I found my soulmate in everything he is and shall become, I couldn’t be luckier in any way. When you find someone you know you’ll grow old with, you gain a whole new understanding to how less scary life can be with someone you love. The chances that Nathan and I ever met are slim to none, but something made me make that move that day in order for Nathan to first find me. I’m not really the kind to believe in destiny, but I truly do believe that everything happens for a reason. And this was fate through and through. We’re young, we’re more in love than ever before and life is so new and exciting. Every day is a new adventure, whether I’m beating caterpillars off Nathan’s shirt or he’s tickling me until my face turns to beetroot. 3 years ago I never knew life would be so good.

I think there is one true soul for each one of us in this World. Sometimes it takes people 40 years to find them, and other people know them their whole lives. Whoever that person is, let them know. We will all find that special someone and I am blessed to have found mine at 16. I now know I can grow up and never be alone, even when I’m scared and cry at night, there is always an arm to hold me tight and to wipe away my woes.

Nathan, you are my World to me and I will forever love you. My heart grows everyday for you and our love and I shall cherish it forever and ever. You are my perfect prince, my angel and my “fuzzy lumpkin” and you always shall be. I am eternally proud to be by your side and shall always be right here for you too. You’re the best and I’ll always be here to remind you just how much you mean to one little heart. I love you my darling.

Here are some images I took a long time ago of a place we’ll be calling “home” very soon. A town of long twilight hours, rolling waves and endless gardens to explore with hot air balloon rides and squirrels which came to sit on Nathan’s lap. It’s a bustling town. These shots were my first visit to Bournemouth, we ran around as the sun disappeared on the horizon and I took photos of everything. I got so excited being able to see the Isle of Wight so close by where I spent a lot of my childhood holidays on that beloved island before it was ever famous for its music festival. May spend a few days visiting that island again seeing as we’ll be so close now. I will commute between London and Bournemouth for my photographic work and bring some models to the beach with me now I have that at my disposal! Life will be a happy blur of ice creams at midnight on the pier and roller blading down the promenade. I can’t wait.

Ever since I can remember, I have had an incredible fascination with the power of photography. When I was 6, I was playing in a hotel’s kids area and had my chunky red camera around my neck. These two big boys came over to me and started to call me names and say my camera was fake. I was too scared to do anything, but I managed to take their photo setting the flash off and then running away. I still have that photo somewhere. That photo was a brave move on my behalf and I remember it like yesterday. And ever since, I have wanted to prove people wrong.

I am entered in Artists Wanted which is a programme to help discover new photographers out there. A lot of famous people have entered and I can’t help but think it’s out of greed and that makes me very sad. If you’re already famous and jet-setting, you don’t need to be discovered. But hey-ho. I can still try and face the big kids here too and run away feeling proud of myself. To win this competition would be life changing and I wouldn’t take a second for granted. This would be a dream coming true, it would be me proving to the World that I am made of something. I can do it, only if people give me the chance to.

So please, vote for me. All you have to do is click the 5 star button once every 24 hours and that is a vote on my ticket to discovery. Please help a girl’s dream come true and I promise that when you need me, I will be there to do exactly the same for you. [:

Things are good, they’re turning and I think new beginnings are hard but possible with a smile.

This weekend was the ultimate turning point. It still doesn’t stop the sadness as I wave goodbye to Nathan at the station, but it’s made a lot better. We spoke about the important things we’ve been needing to talk about. I hit rock bottom last week. I have never felt so low and worthless in my life and I was very scared. I guess a lot caved in on my mind and now I know how to be stronger. I told Nathan what I needed to, all the feelings I’d felt when I felt like nothing was out there for me any more. And he told me everything he felt. We came away with a fresh understanding of one another. A little bit of communication goes a long way. I’d been so afraid of burdening him with my feelings, I’d bottled a lot up and finally let it all go. It felt good. And it felt better to have him talk about his feelings too in such depth that we just hadn’t had the chance to do yet. He nicknamed himself “The Heartcatcher” and how he’d always catch my falling heart. We then agreed we’d make a children’s book about catching hearts. He’d write, I’d draw. So look out for that one day!

We played a lot of tennis today. It was hot and sunny, but glorious to lark about and feel life again. We then roller bladed around the tennis court holding hands. It was heaps of fun. My Grandparents wanted to have a long chat with us, it was wonderful. My Granny wouldn’t stop smiling at me, it made me feel fuzzy knowing that she was so thankful to me. She needs things to look forward to and work towards. Today she sat there and knitted. It’s her new project to keep her looking forward to the future. She’s knitting a baby shawl for when we have kids. I felt highly embarrassed but couldn’t help but smile. My Grandpa was loving as always and he and Nathan always get chatting and block everything else out. Must be a man-thing!

We were driving home when Nathan pointed out some red petals on the pavement and said how he wished we were in them and he’d throw them up and kiss me. I kept driving and went around the block before parking up and getting out much to Nathan’s amusement. We ran as hard as we could to the red petals and threw them high in the air, screaming and laughing. It was a memory which will last me a lifetime. I’ll never forget all that happiness we felt. I’ll never forget the feeling of Nathan’s hand guiding mine back to the car as we ran down the street with loud feet and lungs.

I’m writing a book. Every day if I have a funny thought about life, I write it down. Nothing negative and bad. And when I get old, my grandchildren will look through it and learn about Granny’s youth. I hope to inspire young people with it when I’m old. It’ll be something I can be remembered by. I’ll be the quiet but quirky kid turned old and never forgotten. It’ll be great.

Things will be better from here on in. We’re booking in an appointment for a flat viewing that we’ll hopefully move into. It has 2 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, a huge rooftop patio all for ourselves. Plus we’re hoping to get a little puppy. We’ve picked the breed and when the time is right, we’ll be buying a little friend for us. You’ll all have to come and visit, we’ll have drinks on the patio and I’ll cook up a storm. Deal?! [:

I have so much to say and fill in the empty spaces I have created. Life is changing, and I am particularly very bad with change of any kind no matter how small. Lately I have discovered more about myself than I ever have before.

Since being back from Sydney last November we have lived with my parents whilst Nathan searched for a new job over here. My Dad said he had until April 30th until he had to be out for good otherwise he’d have to go back to Australia. We have come so far, overcome so much to be together. As a couple we have had to do things so differently compared to other couples out there. And that makes us who we are and we never wish for anything else. The things we have done have made us strong and even more in love than ever. Nathan has been offered a job a fair while away from London and as it’s the only one that has come to him before the deadline of the 30th, he has had to take it. I have to stay in London because I have enrolled on a computing course. After I finish it I hope to move the hundreds of miles to join my lover. By then he’ll hopefully have received his first pay package and with my funds, we can rent somewhere by the sea. The news hit home hard and it made it hard for me to think. Spending days and nights apart feels like it’ll kill me, but I can’t complain. He’ll come to be with me every Friday night to stay for the weekend. And there are couples out there who are probably going through a lot worse, so I have no excuse to complain. It makes me feel guilty. And hopefully it’ll only take 3 weeks for me to finish my course and for Nathan’s pay to come through. So it makes it easier to know how temporary this distance will be.

Last week we both got sick and with the added stress of being apart from the one person who understands me on my mind, made me scared. I couldn’t sleep or smile. Life ground to a slow stop full of madness in my head. I wanted to scream and get out and feel in control of things. Everything seemed to be decided for us and I just wanted to feel more in charge than I did. I don’t want to have to stay here whilst Nathan stays in a hotel everynight, it’s not fair. When I cry, he can’t be there to wipe my tears away and when I laugh he can’t join in with me. I thought we were past all the distance in our relationship when he moved here. This isn’t permanent and I’ll be back with him everyday very soon. I’m not good with change and I doubt I ever will be.

Nathan, thank you for doing everything right. Thank you for putting up with all my tears and exhaustion. Thank you for not getting cross once when you probably wanted to. Thank you for all the hugs and kisses to make me feel better. Thank you for getting this amazing job and I’m sorry if my tears have come across as un-supportive. You know how much I’ll miss you for the few nights you’re away because you truly are my other half and I find life hard without you to come home to. When we used to be apart, everyday was a challenge. Please don’t be scared about this change. Thank you for putting on your brave-face to make me feel reassured though you were probably petrified on the inside. I hope I gave you the reassurance you needed back. I love you more than anything and everything and I will always be proud of you for everything you do. Thank you for loving me and undergoing all this change with me. We’re in this together and I appreciate your softness and love every second. I will always be here for you. And thank you for promising that if I go crazy, you’ll come home to get me. I love you. <3

I always dream of running away to the hills and tiptoeing through the woods to make a house for the rest of our lives. I wish we could do that now, away from society and people and just live the way we want. One day we will and life will be so good once all this change is settled in. I couldn’t be happier with the way life is going for us. I feel we’re so, so blessed to be able to have this opportunity. 2 years ago I would never have imagined we would be able to live together in the same country. But we are and despite this change, I still couldn’t be happier. I’m sorry for my emotional rant. It’s hard to talk to anyone when the only person who truly 100% understands is the one going away from you. Life will change and our “normal” will change and it’ll be good. Life will be amazing once we get into the swing of all of this nonsense. There won’t be any hurt or tears for us any more and we’ll move forward and I’ll find positive in new things. This week will be a week from hell, but we’re fighters and we’ll get through as we always do. Maybe one day life won’t throw these hurdles in our way and maybe one day we’ll have a clear run. Maybe all these hurdles coming so thick and fast means there will be a clearing one day very soon. And I look forward to it so much. I wish this all away and for us to find happiness in our new life to come. This is the end of a chapter and the beginning of a new and incredible one. This will give us the financial stability we need to be together in the UK. Our next step is January 2012 when we return to Sydney to get our marriage visa. That’ll be another change, but a change that I will be able to handle. I can’t wait for all this and to get the ball rolling. As well as being scared, I’m so excited.